Friday, March 1, 2013

Until One Day Becomes Today

Several years ago, I had the opportunity to work among some incredibly talented editors for a very popular pregnancy and parenting website. During that time, I fell in love with reading through many of the members' birth stories, from the so-called easy ones to the complicated ones, TMI ones, heartbreaking ones and beyond. There is something so incredibly heart-warming about bearing witness (if only from a blog post) to such personal, transitional experiences. Perhaps it was my body's way of letting me know that I was in that child-bearing age range...or simply that whenever it was my time, I would be ready. But would I really be?

Spoiler (or-not-so-spoiler) alert: I'm not actually pregnant. But I'm married and it is a topic that comes up pretty frequently. Social media outlets don't let you forget, either, as you watch friends and acquaintances announce their transition to familydom. And while we don't feel ready at this exact moment, we know that this next big life decision is not that far off in the future. It's a very interesting feeling, when something that had always felt so far away in the vague future of your adulthood becomes part of your five-year plan. That said, the big question is...when? We're being careful to make sure there are no real surprises, but how do we picture our life as we get ready to bring a life into this world? Where are we living? What are we doing? How much money are we making? What does our saving situation look like? Have we traveled enough? And then my brain screams, "BUT THERE'S SO MUCH THAT WE STILL HAVE TO DO!!!!!"

I arrived to write this post today from reflecting on two other blog posts, the first written by a dear friend of mine. She and I worked together in NYC and have swapped wedding, marriage, baby and life advice more times than I can count. She wrote a post on her blog, Merital Bliss, about a friend of hers who was breaking down her and her husband's decision to get pregnant. And there's one especially poignant takeaway from her friend's story. It's not so much about being ready (because who is ever really 100% ready?); it's about being less NOT ready. This one brilliant idea stayed with me and I often bring it up in topic-appropriate conversations.

The second bit of food for thought that I got today was from another blog that is one of my guilty pleasure reads -- although I'm not exactly sure how it could be considered guilty. But I've laughed to it and I've sure as hell cried to it. And today, my heart smiled to it. As she recounts the birth of her third child, a new younger brother to two older sisters, she talks about how she thought she originally wanted another girl (before finding out the gender). Her words are simple but so beautiful:

"And while I thought I wanted another girl because girls are what I know, I had no idea that what I really wanted was a boy.  Sometimes you don't know you want these things until fate picks them for you.  And then you're thankful that you don't get to make all your own choices because that would be kind of selfish and boring, and you'd never get to experience your secret wants--the ones only fate knows."
-From Enjoying The Small Things

So I suppose that's kind of it. It's not today or in the near future, and I am so at peace with the present and thankful for our life right here, right now. I'm so happy that there is no feeling of rush, so we keep moving forward until one day becomes today.

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